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Me and josh finally moved in together. cute lil place thats just big enuff for the 3 of us. yupp yupp. i also just quit my job that i had at rite-aid distribution. but it was crazy how fast and hard they made you work. so ya.. i quit now im just sitting here doing a whole lot of nothing. evans sleeping (thank god!)it seems like whenever josh leaves me to go some place the baby gives me a hard time. so ya,..josh went to the stupid fucking car show with his 2 gay fuck buddies pat and mike.he mostly wanted to go to show off his fucking new car he got. and as u can tell by all my vulgar language i aint to happy about it. he just "had too" get a new sports car...but i told him... its to get to point A to point B...and its not to fool around with and show off to people. i specifically told him i hate guys i mean i ABSOLUTELY HATE GUYS that think there hot shots with there hooked up cars and think they can get any chick they want and they just gotta show it off..i thought i made it really clear to him about that...well GUESS NOT...cause i wasnt thinking until josh asked me for some money so he can get his car washed that he was going there...NOT to hang out with pat and mike...but just for all the attention and to show off his car...and probably for some stupid fucking dumb bitchez...well guess what...if thats how he is...FUCK HIM...i dont want him no more if hes like that...I HATE PPL LIKE THAT...god do i hate them. and hes just a fucking idiot just like them...and so ya im really pissed and i hate him right now...and probably will hate him for quite a while. and what makes me so sad is we were talking the nite before at walmart about how we were going to make this and that tonight...and i was looking forward to spending a lil social time with him which wasnt fucking asking much but...the only time he wants/ or can cause the baby/ is at like 2 in the morning when im ready for bed....then he fucking sleeps all morning while i watch the baby. its like dont fucking go out with mike and shit and call me and stuff telling me were going to eat and stuff....cause if i would have went and cooked.. and then he left...then that would have been the end of that....and he goes and tells me later...u can go ahead and eat...I HATE COOKING JUST FOR MYSELF...its fucking pointless and i aint fucking cooking for him if he aint going to be around when its done. god he makes me mad.grrrrrrrrrrrrr .... and he sits there and bitchez to me about how he never asks to go anywheres and how hes been spending his time watching the baby while was working...well duh I WAS WORKING...and 2 i know that he went to the movies with pat..which he tried to hide from me..but eventually came clean...and how sleeps and he always brings the baby down to his sisters so he can go here and there. god do i ever ask him to go anywheres with him? cause i feel its wrong to leave the baby with someone else...its not there responsibility . i mean its ok once in a while but not when josh is constintly already having her watch the baby when he goes out with his friends. gr so ya..i was going to make dinner now im not...Nor am i ever making dinner for him...not when hes going to tell me one thing and then do the next...nor am i sleeping in the same bed as him...nor am i ALWAYS going to watch the baby..i dont mind it...but evans not just only my responsibility..its his too..he thinks that when ever im around i have to watch him so he can sleep or do this and that....makes me wonder how heartbreak after heartbreak i could possibly even think about or want another boyfriend. by now i should know for a fact that there all the same... none of them are different..they all hurt you one way or another from time to time...and there all idiots and assholes.you wanna think that the next one that comes along is going to be different...that theres something special about them...but really...its all just lust.and also we look for someone else cause we dont wanna be alone...or feel lonely...but yet look at me now...ditched by my boyfriend for his fucking friends...boy do i feel like 2 inches tall...and i sure am feeling more alone now then i ever have been when i was single.and im sure josh will read this eventually.cause he always does... and he'll say "good..if u feel that way then leave.." why are guys so insensitive? why do they act like that cant be hurt or always act like they dont care.hmm...well im going to go mope some more...or go run my fist into something again until my knuckles bleed and break. ...j/k..